Questioning

Being unsure of
If the clouds are on purpose
Balance in chaos!

Billions of insects
Whether they are instable
Looking for a way.

Winds comes from all sides
And leaves are shaking freely
Then time should make sense!

Good-bye to Modern Solitude

Good-bye to hypocrite people of my country. Good-bye coal smoke penetrating my lungs. Good-bye my illness that is sorethroad because of my job. Good-bye chalk dust getting me sick. Good-bye my collegues gossiping everytime in teacher's room. Good-bye to dishonest politicians of my fortuneless country. Good-bye to tedious train journeys between Kocaeli and Istanbul. Good-bye striving for getting rid of bad conditions. Good-bye to modern solitude inside crowds that is not to feel yourself like the people on the streets. Good-bye to shaving every day as an obligation of my job. Good-bye impersonel principles of schools that I don't even want to say goodbye to them. Good-bye my exhausted years in a vicious cycle.

Good-bye to My History

Goodbye Turkey, family and friends. Good-bye springs after severe winters and smell of oleaster flowers that generates by burning sun of summers. Good-bye warm winds bringing me the soft smells of mountains. Good-bye collecting mushrooms under a slow rain in the small mountain of my cute village. Good-bye firewoods smell burning in stove, and good-bye my childhood. If adapdation to change were not become the rule of life, I would not say Good-bye for many things I left in my history. I have to say good-bye now because there are a huge distance from my childhood and my homeland. Good-bye green trees and praires. Good-bye cold water of the fountain.Good-bye bruises on my leg, and itching them. Good-bye to people who sacrifice themselves to give others somethings they have. Good-bye.

My Fiction Character

Name: Prometheus
Age: Immortal
Ethinicity: Unknown,maybe Greek
Residence: Agean Region of Anatolia
Favorite Color: Blue
Favorite Food: Lamp Meat
Phobias: Himself
Faults: So Smart
Hobbies: Rebellion
Temperament: Brave
Religion: Agnostic
Single
Unemployed


Prometheus is a rebellion against oppression. He is a warrior fighting against tabu. He opposed to the gods in Olympos, he called the people for upheavaling against cruel gods. After declaring his opinion in fronts of the gods, he came back his cave to rest, but the gods send some soldiers to arrest him. He was detained by them and nailed on the top of a rock. In the evening, an eagle came to suck his blood. He resisted many days to survive, but he died finally, he became a symbol of resistance for the people suppressed by tyrans.

Unsettledness

I could have continued my education in very different ways in order to have a dream job. However, I am at that point as a result of some obligations. The point I am at was not a desirable destination. I can dream of many things as a job to have in the future, but I am too realistic man. I know that the conditions are not convinient to dream about unlimited options. If I visualize something in my mind, I would do everything to have it, which would be very harmful to me although I got gratification at the end of it.  I attended a kind of high school, so I was not able to choose freely. I had to choose the program I graduated from, then I had to become an teacher then I got the scholarship as a result of my background. I will be a scientist who is specialized in international education. The issues in my major seem interesting now, but I am not sure that I will love my major after starting to get education in the program. If I chose a job as high school graduate, I would choose an area to become a lawyer or something like that. Guessing about my dream job at that point does not look logical to me.

DON'T BE SUCH AN EDUCATOR

        I can be a more effective communicator in English by improving my English skills. If I assume that my english is perfect at the moment, I need two things to be an effective communicator, which are feeling relax and thinking simple during conversation. The principal in the book called 'Don't Be Such a Scientist', which is 'The arousal and fulfillment your audience's desire', is also so significant thing in this matter, but the basic things are the two ones I mentioned above. According to me, if you are not good at the subject you talk about, you can not be effective communicator. I mean while speaking about economy, you have to have much knowledge about that. The interesting thing is that I saw many people who do not know about their subject, but they communicate with their audiences in very effective way, as long as I observed. For example, I know some historians in Turkey, although they do not talk about recent historical knowledge, they speak about some heroic thing in Turkey, they are liked a lot by their audiences. I think, it is very important thing at this point a balance between speaker's academic, cultural level and audience's. Even if you were a perfect communicator, if you don't have audience who can understand you, your perfect communication skills won't work. There are many writers in history that they were not understood during the time they were alive because they did not have their audience who are the ability to understand their words.

The Marshmallow Challenge

     The competition was to build a structure that should have been made by spaghettis and should have been placed a marshmallow on the top of structure. We had 18 minutes to do that. There was 4 groups competing each other. The group that would build higher structure was going to be winner. Our group, Tuba, Betul, Erhan, Serdar and me, became the winner of the competition. Our structure was heighted 20.15 inches.
    I think, the purpose of the exercise is to measure or improve creativity.  It was difficult task to build a structure from very weak material and put a mashmallow on its top. The structure was more likely going to collapse at the moment we put marshmallow on its top. However, the exercise was also about the ability to use thin muscles. For example, someone can be very creative, but he may be able to use his thin muscles, so he won't probably build the structure properly, which doesn't mean that he is not a creative man because creativity can be seen some work that doesnot require any thin muscle ability. I surprised at the time when I came back to my friends after leaving them for  little time because when I returned I found them they completed the task.
    The video about the exercise gave me an opinion that people have some avarege height structure according to their job. However, it doesnot seem logical to me. The link between building it higher and having a high level job is not a logical connection. Maybe, architectures who are the best at building it  can have rationale explanationn because of their major. It was very good exercise, however, its reflections about IQ, job, and age so on are not certain things.

Cinquains about Sense of Myself--in Turkey

Patience
Altruistic, Compassionate
Decision, Persistence, Difficulty
Everything will be OK in the future.
Education.

Part II: Describe Possessions of Imaginative Character

       Later when I opened the box Adam gave me, I was soo surprised. There were a journal and a photo album, which they was left by his grandfather, who was a soldier in the Korean War. His grandfather had recorded in the journal what he did in Korea such as his feelings about the war, his friends, his worries about his family in Turkey. When I opened the photo album, I saw many soldier's pictures in it, which was too grevious. They smelled like a piece of leather coming from so ancient times. I felt myself sorry about why the taxi driver gave me it. These should have been very valuable for him. I tried to make a connection between what I said to him and the reason why he gave me it. We talked about some historic events, maybe this was the reason that my curiosity about history. I called him to ask him the reason, however the number was a disconnected one. I will not be able to know about the reason never. Nevertheless, I saw how a war is so bad in the journal and photo album.

Part I : Establish Place and Character

       I remember the day when I went to Ankara to participate in a meeting. I met a person who was taxi driver took me to the place I needed to go. The man who was wearing a jean and a shirt, told me about his memories about the times when he was a soldier in army. We went to the location that was held the meeting. Once we went there, the meeting was over. The man, whose name was Adam, took me to a famous park in Ankara. The man bought an umbrella because rain started. The voice of rain after very hot day was relaxing. When rain drops reached the ground, it smelled like burned potato. We talked about his homeland that he had missed a lot. When I left, he gave me a box, which was engraved with tiles similar to tulip. The box reminded me Sultan Ahmed Mosque. 

Where was I?

      I was in the garden of the Language Institute. The weather is so excellent. Trees, sunshines, warm wind, bird's voices give me the sense of relaxation that I realize it every springs. However, There is a difference today. I haven't smoked for two days. As if I feel my cells are refreshing themselves. I feel like I am breathing more healthy today. I am looking around to see what is going on. There are people speaking each other in small groups. I hear their voices that some speaks in Arabic, some speaks in Korean. Here is like Babil Tower in Torah. Everybody supposes that they are communicating each other, but no one does understand each other. That is a kind of interaction but not communication.
      When I look at the other side, I see a girls who are crying very sorrowly. A Turkish guy is trying to consolo her, but I guess he was not be able to achieve it that he called a teacher standing in front of the gate of LI. Now, the teacher is saying her something, but she is going on crying. I wondered about her grievance, but I have to continue writing as I was said to me. Supposedly, I smell the smoke coming from smokers because of my situation. Beside, there are many smells in the air I can not describe, actually I could not describe smells in Turkish.
     These weathers remind me my first years in high school. In my small town, winters pass in very severe way, therefore we look forward to springs. Springs are a relief for people from severe climates like me. First time, I left my small town when I went to a city for my undergraduate education. In those times, also, I used to want to go my homeland like i want now. Nevertheless, this desire inside me is decreasing with passing time.

GENEROSITY

There were generous warriors in the past.
Their hearts hugged huge territories.
And left us their generosity, and swords.

GENEROSITY

A Sense of Lostness in Independence Street

Independence Street in Istanbul has very long history, but the interesting aspects in it for me is its people and irregularity. When I go there, I feel myself relax. The responsibilities of life on my shoulders slide down quickly. Blending into people walking on it, listening to many sort of music performed on sidewalks, historical buildings that tell us the the greatness of our past, churches, and one mosque so on. The street is a reflection of 21th century on a wall that was engraved with history. I can see people who come from a wide variety of background there. Differences, and similarities is the best feelings you can feel there. And its bookstores I used to go regularly. In history, there was the place of consulates coming from Europe. As a result of this, I guess there is a sense of alienation there. You can breath this air while walking there. You lose yourself along the way, which is relief for me. Looking yourself as a stranger was the thing I was able to do there.